This is Shree Rajanees's answer to a giornalist asking of what kind of love and relationship is possile between a man and a woman.
Ordinarily, religions have made impossible [..]
any beautiful relationship between man and woman -- they have destroyed it.
There was reason to destroy it. If a man's love life is fulfilled, you will not find so many people in churches
praying. They will be making love, early morning love, on Sundays. Who bothers
about the idiot who is preaching in the church? If people's love lives are of
immense content and beauty they won't bother about whether God exists or not,
whether the philosophy preached in the Bible is true or not. They are so
contented with themselves.
Once in a while it happens that I pass on the road and two lovers are hugging
each other. They don't even look at me. I feel so happy; they must be in an
immensely groovy place.
Religions have destroyed your love by creating marriage. Marriage is the end,
not the beginning. Love is finished. Now you are a husband, your beloved is a
wife. Now you start trying to dominate each-other. It is politics, no more love.
Now every small thing becomes a point to be argued.
And marriage is against human nature, so sooner or later you are going to be fed
up with the woman, and the woman is going to be fed up with you. And it is
natural, there is nothing wrong in it. That is why I say marriages should not be
there, because marriages make the whole world immoral. A man sleeping with a
woman, and they are not loving each other but still are trying to make love
because they are married -- this is ugly, disgusting. This I call real prostitution.
When a man goes to a prostitute, at least it is straightforward. He purchases a
certain commodity. He does not purchase the woman, he purchases a certain
commodity. But he has purchased the whole woman in marriage -- and for her
whole life. All husbands and all wives without exception are caged, trying to get
free of it. But even sometimes in countries where divorce is allowed and they
manage to change the partner, within a few days they are in for a surprise. The
other woman or the other man proves an exact copy of the one they have left
behind.
I remember hearing about one man who married eight times -- of course, it must
have been in California. When he married the eighth time, after two days he
recognized that he had married this woman once before too. And then he started
thinking, "What have I gained by changing women? It all comes back to the same
rut."
Stability in marriage is unnatural. Monogamy is unnatural. Man is by nature a
polygamous animal, and anybody who is intelligent will be polygamous. You
can't go on and on eating Italian food. Once in a while you want to visit the
Chinese restaurant!
I want people to be completely freed from marriage and marriage licenses. The
only cause of their being together should be love, not law. Love should be the
only law.
Then what you are asking is possible. The moment love disappears, say goodbye
to each other. There is nothing to fight for; love was a gift of existence. It came
like the wind, it has gone like the wind. You will be grateful to each other. You
may part, but you will remember those beautiful moments you had been
together. You may remain friends, if not lovers. Ordinarily lovers when they part
become enemies. In fact, they become enemies before they part -- that's why they
part.
Ultimately, if both persons are meditators, not just lovers, trying to transform the
very energy of love into a meditative state.... And that is my whole approach
towards man and his relationship with woman. It is a tremendous energy. It is
life. If, while making love to your woman, you can both move into a silent
period, utterly quiet, no thought passingthrough your minds-as if time has
stopped -- then you will know for the first time the real taste of love. That kind of
relationship can remain for the whole life, because it is no more just biological
attraction which fades away sooner orlater. Now you have a new dimension
opening.
Your woman has become your temple. Your man has become your temple. Your
love has become your meditation, and this meditation goes on growing, and
when it is growing you start becoming more and more joyful, more and more
nourished, more and more strengthened. There is no relationship, there is no
bondage to remain with the woman. But who can renounce joy? Who can ask for
divorce when there is so much joy? People are asking for divorce because there is
no joy, just despair and twenty-four hours a day nightmare....
My people here and around the world are learning that love is only the jumping
board. There is much more ahead of it, which is possible only if two persons
remain intimate for a longer period of time. With a new person, again you begin
from scratch. And there is no need for a new person, because now it is not the
biological or the physical aspect of the person, but you have come into
communion spiritually.
To transform sex into spirituality is my basic approach. And if both are lovers
AND meditators, they will not mind, oncein a while, if you visit a Chinese
restaurant, or she goes to visit some continental restaurant! It is not a problem.
You love the woman; if she is feeling happy once in a while with somebody else,
what is wrong in it? You should be happy that she is happy, because you love
her. Only meditators are capable of dropping jealousies.
Be a lover -- that is a good beginning, but not the end. Go on trying to be more
meditative. And be quick, because yourlove may be finished the day the
honeymoon is finished.
So meditation and love should go hand in hand. If we can create a world where
lovers are meditators too, then there will be no problem of continuous torture,
nagging, jealousies, hurting each other in every possible way.
Love without meditation is bound to turn into hatred any moment -- beware --
but love with meditation will becomedeeper and deeper, more and more
intense. And perhaps two persons will feel together so attuned, a kind of at-one-ment, that they would love to be together forever.
But that is not a condition. Any day, even if one partner decides, "Now I am
moving from this crossroad, away from you. Thank you for all you have done. I
remember all these beautiful moments, but I cannot continue" -- that's enough.
No court is needed to decide for you thatyou are married, to decide for you that
you are divorced. What an insane world we are living in! Even our love is not
free.
And when I say that love should be our freedom, they condemn me all over the
world as the "free-sex guru." Certainly I am all for freedom of love. And in a way
they are right: I don't want sex to be a commodity in the market. It has to be
freely available just two persons agreeing, that's enough. And this agreement is
only for the moment; no promises for the future, because they become chains
around your neck. They will kill you. No promises for the future, just relish this
moment. And if next moment you are still together, you will be able to relish it
more.
So I don't use the word RELATIONSHIP. I use the word RELATEDNESS. You
can relate, but don't create relationship. If your relating becomes a lifelong
process, good. If it does not, that is even better. Perhaps this was not the right
partner, and it is good that you separated. Find another partner. There must be
someone somewhere who will be waiting for you. But this society does not allow
you to find out who it is who is waiting for you, who is the person who will fit
with you.
They will call me immoral.... To me, this is morality. What they are trying to
practice is immoral.